He Says He Wants Kids – But Does He Mean, “I want YOU to have kids”?

When I was married to my second husband, Ted (whose name is not Ted), we had the kids conversation before we got married. (This is discussed in both No Children, No Guilt, and – in a slightly different context – What Every Woman Wishes Modern Men Knew About Women.) The consensus: It was fine that I didn’t want kids.

However, a couple years later, kids came up again. He wanted them.

“Come on,” he said. “It would be neat!”

I tried to see his point of view.

Our Country’s Psychotic Obsession with Motherhood is Psychotic

One of the many reasons I have never wanted to become a mother is that becoming a mother meant becoming a mother. That is, to anyone who saw me, referenced me, or identified me, I would cease to be “Sylvia,” cease to be a “woman,” and would be only a “mom.” Someone who raises children – period. At the same time